Hide and Go Seek Blog

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love…

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

- Robert Robinson, 1758

Come now, my fount of many blessings. Make sense of this mess.
Yet when tomorrow comes, Your name still I will bless
Find me not outside your glorious will, find me in no sin
but now, I need a miracle, and find us friends again

Though you are above all else, and I underneath
My heart breaks daily at eye thy crimson sheath
Nye hour is upon us, the night standing still
for I find your grace again in the stroke of the quill

Find a way, give it air–Find a way to draw ‘er near
for here on my knees again, I consult every tear
lift my head in the time of thy angelic deed
and lift my heart in, O, my time of need

Come now, oh Father of every blessing, come in glorious splendor
Thou who was, and is–work as my glorious mender
Fall as snow once more, thy hour is near
And I will praise your name again, for you are here

– Chad

 “And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing.” Matthew12:41-42 (KJV)

The offering plate passes. The silver reflects the house lights back into your eyes, as your hand reaches out to receive it from the family of four you have never seen before. The silver steel brings a sudden cold surge through your fingertips. The fresh polish feels smooth, your fingerprints leave evidence of your greasy fingers, making you feel guilty for ruining the shine.

You have been preparing all week for offering. Normally, offering doesn’t warrant a second thought during the grind of the day to day, but this week was different. Something was different. This week, you looked around and saw some things laying around that you’d like to get rid of, so you brought them all to church with you. This week, there were some things that started getting in the way as you went about you’re business, so you brought them all to church with you. This week, some things started to make you upset, so you brought them all to church with you. This week, you ran into something, hitting it hard enough you actually cried, you brought it to church with you. Yesterday, you came across something that broke your heart into pieces, so you brought it to church with you.

So this week, you walk into church with bags full of things you’re going to put into the offering plate. It’s a little unorthodox, but there’s nothing that stops you from your intent. First, you write a check, just a few dollars, all that wasn’t going to room and board. But then, you grab from underneath the pew the multiple bags of endless things that accompany you to church today. You reach inside and begin placing items, the previous one always leaving room for the next.

In the plate, you place your regret, that time it went to far, the words you can’t take back, the promises that lay shattered on the floor. You place your hurt, all the things that people have said that you haven’t been able to wash off. All the times you’ve been pushed to the floor, unable and unwilling to stand back up. You place your hatred, for yourself. All the scars on your body, on your heart, from the times when the pain was too much. Into the plate goes your mistrust, of others, of God. In goes your resentment towards your friends, your family and the church. In goes your addiction to pornography, your struggle with lust and your thoughts about the next door neighbor.

The bags empty, they get lighter and lighter and then empty. Somehow they all fit, though it seems like you could have filled stacks and stacks of plates by now. The tears roll down your cheek and into the offering. As if a seal. “Wow, do I not have the words to say”.

Jesus, please please take it. Take my offering. I know it’s not fair. Two mites, and then all of this. But I can’t have this stuff anymore. Please, take it. It’s all I have to give, it’s everything I have to give. I’m so sick of this stuff lying around.

The offering plate. I think, in adding to my previous entry…we’ve missed the point. I don’t know what else to say, besides the fact that the offering plate, is the offering plate.

, Chad

To be honest, here at the blog I strive for a certain level professionalism. When making certain assertions I use narrative to develop my statement, instead of coming right out and saying it, embarrassing myself in the process. This blog, while an expression of my relationship with Christ, and a tool in our journey together as Christians, is also an expression of my love and talent for writing, and so I do my best to integrate all three of those things when doing so.

However, it all flies out the window with this one.

Two words. Jesus Camp. It’s sad…because it’s true. This documentary from American film makers Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady, travels with American children’s evangelist and pastor Becky Fisher through America’s Heartland, ending up at “Kid’s on Fire” Children’s Camp. Like fat camp for Pentecostals, Kid’s on Fire, held in North Dakota, represents a branch of Christianity that has absolutely missed the point. They have missed the point of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, they have missed the point on children’s ministry and they have missed the point of church altogether, in their blind affirmation of the Republican Party. They represent a facet of faith, completely out of touch with reality.

The devastation of this movie is two fold. The first is that the filmmakers portray this tiny faction of charismatics as the whole of evangelical Christianity, which is certainly not true. Yet, I could understand how they could come to such conclusions, and be lead to make such a film. Because, unfortunately, wacky charismatics are usually the most loud and proud about their faith.

Yet the second is more troubling. That is, that though there was a bias presented in the generalization of all evangelical Christianity, the film’s depiction of this particular sect of charismatics is fairly accurate. Though this brand of ubber-charismatics has existed since the great Pentecostal revivals, it stands as a great example of Christians missing the point.

The whole point of this entry is to point to one thing. Our ability to find relevance within our culture. Gaining the right to be heard by those around us. This was essential to Christ’s message to us.

“While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and “sinners” came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ’sinners’?”” (Matthew 9:10-11)

The religious leaders didn’t get it. They didn’t understand. How could a religious teacher be with sinners? Doesn’t he understand the ramifications of his actions? He’s completly desecrated himself by being with these people! It was a completely counter-cultural action, and a mind blowing sight to see a Jewish Rabbi, such as Jesus was thought of, flying in the face of God’s law. Yet it was the religious leaders who didn’t understand. They were the ones who missed the point. Christ found relevancy with these men, the very men he came to save.

He knew that the only way He could do any good for them, the only way he could accomplish his task was this way. By being in their lives, by being relevant to them. By going out and reaching them and meeting them where they were, in their everyday lives. Jesus knew that there was no way he would reach this people by merely sitting in the synagogue or in the Temple court and teaching all day long.

In order to do any good for anyone, if took reaching across the universe, reaching across the cultural norms, across the accepted application of the Holy Scriptures themselves, to touch the shoulder and change the life of the lost people He came to save. In order to have a voice into people’s lives, to really make a difference, Christ broken all the rules, ate with the people he loved so dearly, cried with the ones that cried, laughed with the ones that laughed.

Something I didn’t expect to see in Jesus Camp, was the face of a man who was made famous for his evangelicalness, and even more famous for his fall from it. Ted Haggard made an awkward appearance in his former role as lead pastor of his megachurch in Colorado. Ted Haggard is an example for someone without relevancy. Now, before you turn your computer off at that comment, let me finish. The nicely packaged, press suited Ted Haggard had no relevancy, even more so after what happened. Yet, I think, the Ted Haggard that openly struggles with his own sin nature could have, in the appropriate setting, had tremendous relevancy. Tremendous relevancy in a society full of people struggling with their own sin nature. Don’t miss the point. Maybe God can do something with where we’re at.

, Chad

“As soon as the meal was finished, he insisted that the disciples get in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night.
Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. “A ghost!” they said, crying out in terror.
But Jesus was quick to comfort them. “Courage, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.”
Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”
He said, “Come ahead.”" (Matthew 14:22-33 MSG)

Nothing was out of the ordinary. The disciples had proceeded across the Sea of Galilee to the other side in order that they could prepare for ministry again the next day. They were simply following their teacher’s instructions as they started across, well into the night. They thought everything was going according to plan. They were in a situation that their master had put them. They acted in obedience, they weren’t afraid of anything, because they trusted Jesus, they trusted the calm of the Sea, they trusted the boat they were in, they trusted the skill of the people directed the boat along its course to their destination. They were comfortable with the way things were going, nothing was out of the ordinary. Nothing was wrong, in fact so much was right. They were in line with their Rabbi, their God and their plans. Everything was right. They were doing exciting ministry. They didn’t even fully understand how cutting edge they were in their faith and their obedience to Jesus. And in a second that all changed. In a single moment, there was a massive gap between where they were, and true faith-filled obedience. The movement they recognized Jesus walking on the waves, smoothly gliding to the other shore wasn’t quite enough. Yet, Peter was the only one to recognize it. In that moment, where he was wasn’t close enough to Christ anymore. Simply, because it wasn’t as close as possible. So, there was a decision to be made. Do I leave the comfort of this ship, the safety I have in this place, to go and be closer to Jesus. I’m confident in where I am. I know that this ship, if it maintains it’s present pace and condition, will arrive when and where I want it to. I am secure here, because I know that I’m wanted and respected and required in this place among my friends. So, am I willing to leave all of that, to risk on Jesus? Do I know it’s really him? How do I know that I won’t be leaving to my death among the waves? What if I lose my friends and all that I’m leaving behind, if only because I look stupid doing what I’m thinking about doing? What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough to be supported on the water? What if I’m not the one Christ wants? I bet he’d rather have John come to him. He loves John so much. Is this worth it?
I don’t think it’s much support to Peter, that thousands of years later, the fact that he began to sink in the waves still discredits him amoung Christians. Don’t you hate when your friends don’t let you forget your most embarrasing moments? But the truth is, for that moment in time, where he was wasn’t close enough for Peter. Removing the space between Christ and himself was worth the risk.

Your going along just fine. You’re comfortable in your situation. You have safety and security. I know when and where things will take place. I have the confidence of the people around me. In fact, all I’m doing is what Christ told me to do in the first place. I’m just following instructions. And yet, in one moment, when Christ appears, and asks me to leave a situation behind in order to follow him in a new direction, is it worth the risk? And I willing to follow? There are no guarantees*. It is worth leaving a situation behind, maybe a loved one, maybe a job, maybe an opportunity, in order to see what Christ will do if you have the faith to get out of the boat?

* “Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5 b cf. Deuteronomy. 31:6)

, Chad

Two feet closer to the door
I stop and wait for you to speak
Nothing’s coming out, but I know
there’s so much on your mind

Why don’t you say
Why don’t you speak
Get it out into the air
if they saw the sun and died
but you don’t know to share
your words do more inside

The night is still, there is nothing making any noise. An air of anticipation rises as a gentle hum on the air and comsumes the senses. Chills run down the spine, but you dare not make a sound for fear of ruining the silence. This time is so special, everything you ever wanted it to be, and yet nothing of what you expected it to be. You close your eyes, but it’s so dark iit doesn’t make any difference. Questions surround your head, about what He will do next. You take one last deep breath, but stall as you realize that he is moving. He leans in. You can feel his breath as it warms your face. It smells as sweet as the grass after a gentle summer’s rain. Drawing near to your cheek, he places one last kiss.
Before the beginning of the world, of Father had placed a simple kiss upon the cheek of his creation, His Children, mankind. It was simple. It was soft. Yet for the rest of history it would define His relationship with us. It’s something we will never forget. Before we were created, God kissed us and said his one last goodbye. One last goodbye before we had to be placed on Earth, to chooce whether or not to call Him Father anymore. Saying goodbye crushed him inside. He felt as though He was willing to die, if only he wouldn’t have to say goodbye to a single child ever again. Yet, He knew that true love is only possible when we have the choice to love or not. Knowing that as soon as we take our first breath we would forget all about our Father, he kissed us goodbye one last time, and in so doing created in us something missing. In that one action, we were made incomplete without the kiss.
Nothing was the same after that. The colours weren’t as bright, the sounds of music felted muffled and blurred. Food had lost its taste, water didn’t quench your thirst as it did before saying goodbye… that is, before the kiss. Something is was continuallly lacking in our lives. As if something were calling us continually back to the presence of our Savior. We were made incomplete at creation, God’s way of continually reminding us that He is still needed in our lives. As if, when he kissed us goodbye that one last time, it was accomplanied with the words, “Please, don’t forget about me. I love you.”
Something is not the same, living life apart from our Father. It doesn’t quite do it the way that life inside of obedience to God does. Incomplete at creation, we are made complete once again, in Him. By allowing him to once again, place his face against our cheek, everyday..
“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.” Romans 1:20
God has written himself on everything around us, on every part of our daily lives, as a way of saying, “Don’t forget about me.” When was the last time you took the time to pause and look for God’s fingerprints on our daily lives? When was the last time I paused long enough for Him to place a kiss on me all over again? We were made lacking a certain comething from the very beginning, relationship witht the Father, the one complete one. Live in the constant reminder of the Prsence of Jesus Christ.

, Chad